In The Hospital Room

When I woke up I was in the hospital room. Nanny Flowers and Paka were arguing. Paka said, “You’re right dear. I’ve been no good. Always telling Kahu, she’s no use because she’s a girl. Always growling at her. Growl, growl, growl. And I never knew, until you showed me the stone.” His face showed his emotion of how bad he felt. Then Nanny Flowers said bitterly, “And I should have cracked you over the head with it too.” “Your right, dear, you’re right,” Paka said. “I’m always right, you old Paka,” Nanny Flowers responded. But before she could go on about how bad he treated me I sighed and said, “You two are always arguing, just like the old mother whale and the bull whale.” Then I started to cry. I and I said, “I fell off.” “What?” Paka asked. “I fell off the whale,” I said. “if I were a boy I would have held on tight. I’m sorry I’m not a boy.” Then Paka said, “You are the best great-grandchild in the whole wide world.” I hugged him and said happily crying, “Oh thank you, Paka. You’re the best granddad in the whole wide world.” He and Nanny Flowers said I love you . Then I told everyone to be quiet. I heard the whales saying, “Child, your people await you. Return to the Kingdom of Tane and fulfill your destiny.” “Can’t you hear them?” I asked Paka. “Oh Paka, can’t you hear them? I’ve been listening to them for ages now. Oh, Paka, the whales are still singing.” I know now that my Paka loves and believes in me. I can now be comfortable in myself and embrace who I am in my culture.

The Whale Conversation

As I was on the whale, we got deeper and deeper into other ocean. I remember the ancient bull whale stopped when we were deep. He met with the whole heard of whales. I was almost dead, I remember the ancient bull whale and his wife arguing. It was about me.
The ancient bull was sure I was Kahutia Te Rangi, the ancient whale rider that first rode this whale. It was true that I was Kahu but not the first whale rider like the ancient bull thought. His wife, who could see me knew that I was not who he thought I was. I was only a tiny little girl in my white dress. I was not the first whale rider who threw the spear into the ground and prayed for it to flower when the people are most in trouble. Although I am now probably much like him. I remember the wife whale saying, “Yes, this is the descendant of Paikea.” When I heard this, I knew I was just as good as any boy.
After I was on the whale listening to the whales argue. I vaguely remember the whales putting me on a bed of sea weed.

Whale Riding

Once I saw that whale I could tell it was the leader of the whole group. I knew that if I got that one to move, the rest would move. I was going to save our people. Like Paka said, “When it dies, we die. I die. And if it lives we also live.”
This is the story of how my life changed:
“Karanga mai, karanga mai, karanga mai.” I said calling the whale. “Oh sacred ancestor I am coming to you . I am Kahu. I am Kahutia Te Rangi. I clung onto the ancient bull whale’s jaw, trying to not let the surf push me back onto shore. “Ko Kahutia Te Rangi. Ko Paikea.” I am kahutia te Rangi. I am Paikea I shouted at the whale . It shuddered saying, “ko kahutia te Rangi? Ko Paikea? I felt the whales forward fin. Quickly I put my fingers around it as the whale moved. Then I climbed onto the whales back, finding some sort of foot holes and hand holes. As it pushed away across the water, I could feel a surge of happiness from the whale. I could hear the whale saying, “it is my lord, the whale rider.”
I cried. I cried because I was frightened. I cried because Paka would die if the whale died I cried because I was lonely. I cried because I loved my baby sister, my dad, and Ana. I cried because Nanny Flowers wouldn’t have anyone to help her in her garden. I cried because Koro Apirana didn’t love me. I cried because I didn’t know what dying was like.
I ordered the whale to go into the deep sea and to let our people live. Slowly the whale and I got out into the open ocean. Whales were on both sides of me. My heart was pounding for I was Kahutia Te Rangi, the whale rider.
I was cold and my face was wet with tears, rain and the ocean water. I was sure I was going to die from drowning. Then, I made a discovery, when I pressed my face against the whales body he made a small breathing chamber for me. The whales dives got deeper and longer. I said good-bye to my family and friends. I got on the whale so that they could live for ever. I said to myself. “I am not afraid to die, I am not afraid to die.

If I Were A Boy

My love towards Paka
Is as strong as Nanny’s Muriwai blood
I wish I was a boy
Then Paka and katoa would love and respect me

If I were a boy
I could become
Part of the Hokowhitu
Paka and katoa would love and respect me

I could do the haka
With the men
Yelling for war
Paka and katoa would love and respect me

I will be like the kiwi
And not like the moa
I will be strong
I will stand my grounds
Paka and katoa will love and respect me

My Paka

I love my Paka. He is my grandpa. Although I love him dearly, at times I feel he does not love me. He can be an old paka, which means an old bugger. He always sticks to the old ways. He does not let the women do what the men can do. Like today the whales came onto our beach, beached. Paka told my dad and uncle Rawiri to gather all the men in the village of Whangara. Nanny Flowers and I were ready to help but as usual Paka would not let the women help. Nanny Flowers protested. And like always, they got into a big argument. But there was something different in this argument instead of the it ending with Nanny Flowers saying, “You watch me get a divorce, you old Paka,” it ended with Nanny Flowers saying, “I’ll be like Muriwai if I have to. Kahu, also, if she had to be.” And in response Paka said, “You keep Kahu away, e kui.” When I heard this I felt sorry for myself and I hope everyone else did too.
Once he said this it made me feel so inferior and made me wish Nanny Flowers’ Muriwai blood was not as strong as it was. For if it was not strong… I would have been a boy. I would be allowed to go into the meetinghouse. I would be able to help and learn more about my Maori culture. I could become the next leader of my village. And I could get the one thing I longed for the most, the love from my grandpa.

The Dive

I noticed today that Paka was not up to his normal self. Nanny Flowers said he was feeling sorry for himself. I wondered why. Uncle Rawiri explained that Paka was trying to find the next leader of our village. One of the tests he had the boys do was fetch Paka’s carved stone. He threw it down until it hit the bottom of the seafloor. He told them that one of them must bring the stone back to him. Although many of the boys tried, none of them got it.
So then Uncle Rawiri took Nanny Flowers and me to go see where Paka threw out the stone. It was very deep. Nanny Flowers said, “No wonder these boys couldn’t get it. This is deep. Did Koro really want it back.”
I decided I would get it. After all, I hoped it would make Koro, that old Paka, happy. It was amazing. I was looking for the stone, almost out of breath when two dolphins came by me and showed me where the stone was. I could tell Nanny Flowers was worried because she was treading water, trying to look for me. So to make her feel more content I giggled, “I’m alright Nanny.”

Uncle Rawiri

Uncle Rawiri left to go travel when I was four all the way up until I was eight. I remember I missed him very much during those times. He was like a second father to me. He said that he wanted to see the world around him. Both Nanny Flowers and I thought I was so silly for him to want to see the world. We thought he had everything he could possibly want to see right here in Whangara. But he obviously didn’t think so because he didn’t come back for another four years. He first went to Australia. He said a lot of his cousins live there. Then he went to live with his friend Jeff in Papua New Guinea. I remember I was six when Uncle Rawiri called us up to tell us that he was going to move to Papua New Guinea. Nanny Flowers cried when she heard the news on the phone. She was the one that was anxious for her son to return home. I remember her saying, “Don’t you be making any promises about next summer. Otherwise I will be going to the bus stop everyday to see if you are on it.” Although it seemed that she was the one missing him the most, I was probably second in line waiting to see him. I missed being able to see his familiar face, smelling that familiar smell, and hearing that familiar voice.